Rick Dutch

Hey there, whatsup!

Now i would like to share with you, something i have been playing with for a long time and which helps me to reduce the tension i used to have when approaching a hot looking lady. As we are hardwired to look for possible sexual mates we, men, tend to “scan” a girl up and down real quickely to find out if she has all the sexual indicators, to fire up a certain feeling to make us want to go over and “talk” to her…with the intention of having sex in the end. Now i have noticed in the past, and this is nothing out of the ordinary, that every time i saw a girl that is sexually attractive to me, i allready start to have this tension, then, i decided i would like to talk to her…and the tension built up a little bit more…and more when thinking things like “damn…shes FINE!” “oh wow, look at those legs!” “oh my god her eyes…she looks so naughty” “i want to make her mine!” and so…

I noticed how i was already “investing” emotionaly in a person who didn’t even knew i was alive! And the more i invested, the more “AA” i felt. So that made me think “how can i control this? How can i make this less fucked up? How can i go over there with a more secure feeling?”

It made me re think everything i did before and during an approach and i started to experiment with a new “mindset”, a mindset that gave me such good results that i can now disregard the “3 second rule” and look at a lady the whole night, knowing what i want from her…*snap out of it* and go over and talk to her with a pretty relaxed feeling!

What i found out was the following:

-When i am in a restaurant for an example and i want to order dinner, i can call the waitress and discuss several meals with her, order my drinks, have a laugh and not feel anything.

-When i am in a clothing store, i can talk about clothes, fashion, whatever, with a hot girl who works there or who happens to stand around, and not feel anything.

-When i need to find the way to some place, i can ask any hot girl, and not feel anything.

-When i, actually need an “opinion” (without actively using an opinion opener) i can ask the hottest girl around, and not feel anything!!!

The reason why, is because i don’t NEED anything from her! At the moment i am asking for a sincere opnion, about several dishes and ordering my drinks…i have a completely different mindset than when i am actively “gaming” because then, i “might have something to loose”. And, i am not investing anything emotionaly! Im completely “blank” about her!

So what mindtricks am i currently playing with and how is this helping me?

When i see a girl walking around, in the club for an exsample, who happens to be my taste, i actually take my time to decide if she “looks” anything like i would want to hang out with…so i take well over 3 seconds, where normaly i would positively invest emotionaly in her, i now actualy scan for “defaults”. I know it may sound weird but let me tell you that this is POWERFUL!!! Just take your 1-itis, or like this hot model that you have been masturbating over for years as she is the most perfect thing ever! Lets take an exsample “Adriana Lima” now…shes HOT…but you know what…if you start looking for “imperfections” you WILL find them…and this WILL make her less attractive…just play around with this for a bit to see what it does with your preception of a girl you have always looked at as if she was the hottest thing ever!

Check this picture of Adriana Lima for an example, try to find 5 or more “imperfections” and you WILL find them (If you can’t find them, make them up!)…now FEEL…what it does to your “state”!

Also, instead of going over and thinking “i am going to open with an opinion opener but actualy i want to sleep with her asap” which raises a girls value right there and then…i condition myself to go over and actually start a conversation with her without even thinking of sex and making her something desirable!

These new ways of “acting” don’t work right away, but it does work! I conditioned myself to think differently than i have always done and let me tell you…now…i actually find women…kind of “boring” compared to before…like even the realy “hot ones”. They seem…just as normal as any other girl…and so…i hardly “feel” AA when approaching, in daytime or at night time.

When i go to do “an approach” i go over to find out if she could add any value to MY life, to see if she can qualify herself to ME…as she is just like every one else…and you know what…this improved my game incredibly! Even to the point where i now see how the realy hot ones…are approaching ME as i send out a completely different energy these days…i guess i can say it made me a more “Attractive Person”.

So i challenge you to try and play with these mindsets a bit to see how it will add value to you as a person. And feel free to let me know how it worked for you ok!

Good luck, and have fun!

Rick Dutch.

This is a rather “old” video but as i receive A LOT of questions about it, i want to take you a little bit deeper into what is going on in the video. Take you a little bit more in dept on things.

So, my friend and i are walking around the city, doing some “sight seeing” and “meeting people” ofcourse and we had to go to the airport as we were flying back in little over 1 hour. I told him i was tired and that i was just going to stand at my friends “pancake stand” to eat a pancake…and do nothing!

As we are chilling out there i see this girl comming over and she’s entering a store right across the street from where we are standing. I sigh…very deeply, look at my watch and say “ok..so if she comes out…i am going to HAVE to talk to her…” I say it almost in an annoyed kind of way, because i didn’t feel like doing it anymore and i know we have to run to the airport etc. “fuck this shit!”

Then i see her comming out of the store…i take one more bite as my pancake/crepe is still fresh…warm…juicy…tasty…delicious…you get the point…and this is what happend:

Now, i have pointed out a couple things in the subtitles already however, there is more going on than what i could put down there:

As you can see what’s happening around 0.40: When i opened her i kept a safe distance, i stood in the “friendly zone”, but i take 1 step closer to get into the “intimate zone”. My eye contact is strong and my facial expression was gentle. This leads to the fact that, as you may notice, she feels a shift in her state, she positions herself in a more comfortable body posture. She now crosses her legs and is directly facing me and is genuinely interested in what i have to say.

By taking a step closer i can lower my voice just a little bit and throw my intonality down a bit, which NLP and Hypnosis practioners do as well, and this results in her getting more engaged into my world and reality. I have had my Hypnosis coach doing the same to me and when a person does that, it’s like you feel drawn towards that person and all that is happening around you just dissappears. You are litteraly SUCKED into the other person’s world.

She was very comfortable and she exuded this calm energy, she also held a firm eye contact with me which indicates a strong personality.

Now my body language isn’t perfect as i didn’t feel completely at ease since i didn’t have time to be standing there in the 1st place. I had to RUN to the airport ASAP to not miss my flight…and…even more important… MY PANCAKE WAS GETTING COLD!!!

Well, i wanted to share this video with you, please take from it what you can, as i know it’s always interesting to actually see some one “DOING IT” in field. I always learn a LOT when i watch people interacting. Luckely my friend decided to film me in this approach because it showed me a lot of things where i can improve on, so thanks buddy!

I suggest you and a friend also film yourselves doing aproaches and interacting as you will learn SO MUCH watching yourself! You don’t need a fancy camera, this video was shot with a normal photo camera. Although a camera with the option to connect a microphone will be even better as you will record your whole conversation which you can “dissect” later and hear yourself talking.

Go out and DO IT NOW!!!

Hey you! whats up? Today i want to talk to you about “Appoaching random strangers” and how to feel comfortable about it!

I know that a lot of people let their past experiences stand in the way of their future success. They let themselves be held back because they have bad references to certain things and don’t want to feel the pain they have been trough, which is actually very logical.
However, living a life that doesn’t satisfy you…may hurt…and it can hurt a lot, I know because I had my share. So, you have linked negative feelings to a certain idea or action and they hold you from making any progression because you don’t know what’s going on and don’t know what you should do about it.

Now think of the following, “If I continue this way…without taking any action to change the course of my life, how will I look back at my life when I’m old?” I mean if you don’t do anything about it and just ignore that what needs attention, yes, you might live a happy life I mean, just act as if that thing isn’t there…that should do the trick! Right?!
No it doesn’t… ”That what is inside and expressed will set you free…that what is inside and kept imprisoned will eat you alive!” in other words, you HAVE to do something about your fear or it otherwise it will fuck you up!!! (just to use some clear words lol). So either way, you know that if you want to become stronger you have to face your fears and do something about it!
But you know what…you can take small steps to get out of your comfort zone if smacking your “challenge” right in the face and go full throttle to overcome it is a too big of step for you. Small steps WILL do! As long as you do something and see that what you do is working! You will create positive references to something that has frightened beforehand, and that’s the way you overcome your fears!

Old Me, just before an approach!

Now I have had the exact same challenge’s and I want to share with you a couple ways that might provide a solution for you as well as it did for me.
Like, I wanted to become more social and make it a natural thing for myself to talk to other people. And to go in directly and to start a conversation just like that was so far outside of my reality that I couldn’t do it AT ALL! I was the guy who was nervous beyond belief when I even thought of doing an “in direct approach Now I do direct approaches and basically don’t feel anything weird when doing so.

How did I do this? What I did was, i started out by giving “value” to strangers by walking passed them and just making a comment about their shoes or jacket, like, “Hey, nice color jacket that is, how original” then just walk off instead of expecting a conversation, this way you won’t have to deal with any possible negative response (this also trains your abundance muscle, as you’re not really concerned about what they think). After doing this a couple of times you will feel comfortable doing this and you take it a small step further by looking the people in the eyes, which is a big deal for some. You smile at them when giving them some sort of value (giving compliments) and THEN you walk off. Next step, after you gave value with a smile on your face, is you WAIT for the response and as you will notice, 75% of the people smile back at you! (All us people have “mirror neurons” in our brain which have a couple of functions but 1 of ‘m basically is that when someone smiles at you, you automatically smile back and don’t even know you are doing it!) and THIS is exactly what you are after! Because that small thing as a “smile back at you” will be a reference to you which tells you it is OK to talk to other people, now after doing this for a while you will have a positive feeling anchored in your brain, it will feel GOOD talking to other people.

I started of just like this and from there on it became easier for me to talk to other people without feeling “challenged”. And I stepped it up more and more using small steps at a time and now I feel pretty comfortable going in directly!

So, if this works for me…it should absolutely work for you!!! And I want to leave you with a mission:
Give some kind of value to at LEAST 10 people each day! Start slowly then push yourself further as I mentioned above and you know what, if the “value giving” goes well…you might even start a conversation and then…maybe…?

This is an easy one and you know it. Everyone gets the opportunity to say something to 10 people in a single day so if you feel challenged with talking to “others”, this mission might help you out! GO AND DO IT!

Rick Dutch.