Rick Dutch

Hey there! How was your weekend? I hope it was just as superb as mine and that you have learnt amazing lessons like I have! And let me tell you about a very important thing that I have learnt this weekend.

You know when something happens to you and you KNOW you should do things different next time as you have “learnt from it” and then you let it happen again…and again…and again…because you dont implement that what you have learnt and you don’t take action on it?! I had something like that this passed weekend, let me tell you about it.

I currently work in a small restaurant, I used to be a Chef for about 15 years, stuck between the 4 walls of several kitchens but recently I also crawl out of the kitchen and serve on people, which is an amazing learning experience for me as i engage in “Social Encounters” full on for a couple hours straight! I learnt a lot from this already and I’m sure I will keep on doing so as I take learning experiences from basically anything!

So, saturday, I was at work and we were chilling a bit behind the bar as we were waiting for our guests to come in and while sitting in the corner reading a book about coaching 2 lovely (read: hot) girls walked in. My other male colleague just stared at them and I could see them smiling at him, knowing exactly what was going on, and one of them spoke up and said, with a soft sigh “yeah…so we are here because we want to have dinner” smiling when she did so. My colleague went “ UHHHHMMMM…yeah…ok…”. I guess he was hypnotized by their beauty and caught off guard We didn’t really have space for them as all the seats were spoken for but he quickly recovered and sat them down and told them we needed the table again in 1 hour which was cool with them, they were really kind!

I took it from there and presented our menu to them. We talked a little bit and, making rapport etc. and we went into “flirting mode” quickly. One of them really caught my eye as she has one of the seven beauty signs “dark hair and blue eyes”, I couldn’t keep my eyes of her and our eye contact was intense.( i LOVE THAT) I received several IOI’s from both of them and I knew I was going to stir the conversation later on into the direction where I could go for the number…BUT…there were other guests coming in as well and I had a job to do so I went on, thinking I could do it later (do you feel it coming?). When they were finished eating I asked them to come with me and take a seat at the bar, where I would continue the conversation and go for the number…at least, that was MY plan. The second they were at the bar this basket of people opened itself up and within no time I was surrounded by people asking me questions and ordering etc. etc. etc. 

The girls paid and judging their body language they waited for me to say hi, told me they had to run off to a birthday party, waved…waited a couple of split seconds at the door…my hands were full…they smiled at me…waited another couple split secondsn(can you feel the tention!) knowing it was now or never…my hands were still full and my head went “FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK “…they said goodbye…and walked of…

I knew THERE AND THEN…I had to pull the trigger sooner…I saw they took one of our business cards before they went off so maybe…I will see them again soon…(the law of attraction, lol)

Thinking I have learnt my lesson right there and then for the day something similar happened in a bar dancing I was after work!!! Here in Holland we have a saying “A Donkey never bumps into the same rock twice” But this donkey did…(oh lord)

I was in set a couple times and making the pattented “Rick Dutch Sexual Eye Contact” all over the place then walked outside and passed this really cute thing, we made eye contact and smiled to each other. I started talking to her and we went into a real nice conversation. Shortly after I spotted those IOI’s again and I started doing KINO. She was really nice to talk to and had deep and sparkling brown eyes, those eyes you would drown in so easy and her voice just caught me as it was really tender and sweet. I stated my intentions from the start as I project my sexual energy trough eye contact and she was really into it. We talked about the fact that she was going to go out with me next time which she was really in to and then her friend came up…

I introduced myself and instantly they went into a conversation about something that was going on apparently. I saw one of my friends and didn’t want to make things awkward by “just standing there” and decided I was going to talk to my friend for a second and return shortly after to get her number…so I went…and so did they…as I saw them walk off…I saw ”the girl” looking back at me just before I saw them walk away, basically saw her head turn away as my head turned towards her…as if she was looking for a way to make contact before she left…but it was too late…I was too late…AGAIN!!!!

I saw this as an amazing learning experience and SWORE to take action next time and never let a girl walk away like that…ever…AGAIN!

Couple minutes later, when I was inside this beautiful blonde girl, stylish, nice smile, friendly face etc. walked passed me and our eyes locked! (As you might or might not have noticed, I do a lot with eye contact, lol). I don’t remember what I said to her or if I did say anything at all but the energy I got from her eye contact and her facial expressions were all the IOI’s I needed from her. I saw her walking out and I thought I should wait for her to walk back inside and initiate a conversation with her…but then the 2 learning experiences with my 2 other sets that night smacked my on the head! “NO! im not going to wait, I’m going out there!” and so I did.

I looked around and didn’t see her…”oh no…not again…” I walked almost outside of the bar’s terrace and looked around…she wasn’t there?! When I wanted to walk back in I spotted her talking to some friends and getting ready to head out. Apparently I walked right passed her. As I stood right in front of the “Wardrobe” I saw her coming over with her friends and again I engaged in one of my amazing eye contacts. I said “hi” and we started talking. I knew I had to be quick this time and get her number before any unforeseen event took her away from me!

And before I even thought of going for it…”a cock block” came into the conversation (Is this going to happen to me AGAIN?!?!). The guy that came bursting into my set knew her from school where they went like 10 years back so they had a lot of interesting things to talk about…IF the guy had any conversational skills…HA! “Now I need to take action” I thought to myself and while watching her getting more uncomfortable with the silences between her old classmate and herself I went for it.

I grabbed her arm and asked something about her jewelry (don’t be hating, it was the 1^st thing that popped into my mind! lol). I slowly moved away from her friends as I wanted to have her full attention and she kindly followed my every move. She started qualifying herself by telling she was a “dancer” and that she had nice legs, which I then had to feel for myself of course I asked her where she was from and connected with her more when she named her town and I used my knowledge to talk about a club that they have there. She was more engaged into the conversation by that and I told her we should go to 1 of the 70’s/80’s classics party’s they organize so I could dress into my old school pimp suit. She was cool with the idea and I asked her…”ok so how are we going to stay in touch?” She asked me if I had “Hyves or Facebook”. She told me to take her name and look her up there, I told her it was fine…but I wasn’t satisfied with that! I wanted to have her number so we can make our conversation more personal. I grabbed my phone and said “ok, I’m going to put it into my notes…if I can figure out how that works (as if I don’t know how to do that, oh sneaky me!) I then acted as if I had no clue where to put it and asked her “ok, so, like any normal person…don’t you have a phone number instead?” She gave me her number and I agreed on calling her the next day (Sunday night) for us to have a proper conversation and so that I could find out if she was interesting in any way.

The good thing that night was that, after 2 sets that walked out on me i learnt from the experience, decided i would never let anything happen like that again, implemented that into my system, took action in the next set and accomplished my mission!

I hear people in the same situations saying “damn, it sucked tonight, i didn’t do anything! i didn’t approach! i let the set walk out on me” and if you recognise this with your self…maybe look at it in a different way, like me for an example…”what have i learnt today from the mistakes i made”

I have learnt that i should pull the trigger faster before “something happens” that makes me loose the set! So instead of beating myself over the fact i lost 2 sets, i pat myself on the shoulder for owning the other set!

SO I HAD A HUGE SUCCESSFULL EVENING!!! 

So, hopefully you have learnt something as well by reading this: Look at what you have learnt and turn everything into a success and…TAKE ACTION…NOW!!!

Rick Dutch.

Hey you! whats up? Today i want to talk to you about “Appoaching random strangers” and how to feel comfortable about it!

I know that a lot of people let their past experiences stand in the way of their future success. They let themselves be held back because they have bad references to certain things and don’t want to feel the pain they have been trough, which is actually very logical.
However, living a life that doesn’t satisfy you…may hurt…and it can hurt a lot, I know because I had my share. So, you have linked negative feelings to a certain idea or action and they hold you from making any progression because you don’t know what’s going on and don’t know what you should do about it.

Now think of the following, “If I continue this way…without taking any action to change the course of my life, how will I look back at my life when I’m old?” I mean if you don’t do anything about it and just ignore that what needs attention, yes, you might live a happy life I mean, just act as if that thing isn’t there…that should do the trick! Right?!
No it doesn’t… ”That what is inside and expressed will set you free…that what is inside and kept imprisoned will eat you alive!” in other words, you HAVE to do something about your fear or it otherwise it will fuck you up!!! (just to use some clear words lol). So either way, you know that if you want to become stronger you have to face your fears and do something about it!
But you know what…you can take small steps to get out of your comfort zone if smacking your “challenge” right in the face and go full throttle to overcome it is a too big of step for you. Small steps WILL do! As long as you do something and see that what you do is working! You will create positive references to something that has frightened beforehand, and that’s the way you overcome your fears!

Old Me, just before an approach!

Now I have had the exact same challenge’s and I want to share with you a couple ways that might provide a solution for you as well as it did for me.
Like, I wanted to become more social and make it a natural thing for myself to talk to other people. And to go in directly and to start a conversation just like that was so far outside of my reality that I couldn’t do it AT ALL! I was the guy who was nervous beyond belief when I even thought of doing an “in direct approach Now I do direct approaches and basically don’t feel anything weird when doing so.

How did I do this? What I did was, i started out by giving “value” to strangers by walking passed them and just making a comment about their shoes or jacket, like, “Hey, nice color jacket that is, how original” then just walk off instead of expecting a conversation, this way you won’t have to deal with any possible negative response (this also trains your abundance muscle, as you’re not really concerned about what they think). After doing this a couple of times you will feel comfortable doing this and you take it a small step further by looking the people in the eyes, which is a big deal for some. You smile at them when giving them some sort of value (giving compliments) and THEN you walk off. Next step, after you gave value with a smile on your face, is you WAIT for the response and as you will notice, 75% of the people smile back at you! (All us people have “mirror neurons” in our brain which have a couple of functions but 1 of ‘m basically is that when someone smiles at you, you automatically smile back and don’t even know you are doing it!) and THIS is exactly what you are after! Because that small thing as a “smile back at you” will be a reference to you which tells you it is OK to talk to other people, now after doing this for a while you will have a positive feeling anchored in your brain, it will feel GOOD talking to other people.

I started of just like this and from there on it became easier for me to talk to other people without feeling “challenged”. And I stepped it up more and more using small steps at a time and now I feel pretty comfortable going in directly!

So, if this works for me…it should absolutely work for you!!! And I want to leave you with a mission:
Give some kind of value to at LEAST 10 people each day! Start slowly then push yourself further as I mentioned above and you know what, if the “value giving” goes well…you might even start a conversation and then…maybe…?

This is an easy one and you know it. Everyone gets the opportunity to say something to 10 people in a single day so if you feel challenged with talking to “others”, this mission might help you out! GO AND DO IT!

Rick Dutch.